The Birth Order Predictor

I found this “Birth Order Predictor” on another blog (linked to a blog I sometimes read—a long connection away from me, but I digress.) The “predictor” said I was probably a “Forth Born” (sic). They can’t even spell.

This was rather insulting since I am a first born, of course. My mom used to call me their “experimental model.” I was the first to be shoved out of the nest into school, scouts, summer camp, organized baseball, and eventually college. Day Two of first grade was traumatic as I got lost in the hallways of what seemed to me to be an immense building. Homesick at boy scout camp, best benchwarmer you ever saw in baseball. I came into my own in college, though. Before leaving for my second year, I remember being sick because I was so anxious to get back to where I was free to do anything I wanted with no parental supervision of any kind.

Though this “test” was a bust, I still think there is something to birth order and how it affects you. I was reading about it back in the ‘70’s and decided to include it in my tenth grade class I was teaching. I told the kids that I would guess their birth order just by the way they conducted themselves in my class. If I knew something about their families, I would not guess them because that wouldn’t be fair.

The first born were serious, grade conscious, rule followers. Middle children were loud, conspicuous, attention hungry. Youngest were those who would lay back and wait for others to do things for them. Sometimes they would ask me how I knew their birth order, and it was hard to be diplomatic about some of the telling characteristics.

I went ten out of ten before they said, “Do Jamie!” Jamie sat in the back of the room, was a quiet young man. I considered him for a moment, and said, ‘Jamie, you’re an only child!” The class was blown away; they had been so sure they could trip me up. Jamie was self assured, really didn’t need any one else, was friendly enough, but not dependent on others for finding satisfaction. He was quite self sufficient.

Now that I have insulted half of you, how does birth order affect you?