Elevator Etiquette

The other day I stepped onto the elevator in one of our buildings and there was one of those five foot tall plants with big leaves on it. I forget what you call it, kind of like a rubber plant. Then I noticed the blond woman peeking out between the leaves.

“What a great idea” I said, “We should have a plant like that in every elevator. Really dresses up the place.”

The woman was embarrassed that she was being seen with this green monster. She said she thought it was late enough in the day on a Friday that she could get it into her office without being put on public display. No such luck. Everyone else in the elevator got a big kick out of it, though.

Earlier in the day I was in another elevator (I save my knees for really important things like lifting Max). There were two women students talking about gas mileage. One was complaining how much gas her car had used on a recent trip. The other agreed that it seemed like it was too much for a just a few hours. The first woman then said, “Well, I was going 90 miles an hour most of the time. Maybe 85…do you think that would have anything to do with it?”

I didn’t say anything, though I was tempted to. I wasn’t really part of the conversation and they didn’t seem inclined to include me.

Usually people file into and off of elevators in silence. If you are with someone, or see a person you know, you might strike up a conversation, but otherwise you just stand there and stare at the floor numbers going by. In my building, I will usually try to engage people with a word about the weather, or the “speed” of the elevator, or even ask them how school is going. People usually respond well to that, and if they don’t want to contribute, that’s OK too.

I wonder why that sliding box causes people to clam up. Maybe it’s that there’s not enough personal space to go around, so we need silence to keep ourselves safe. I’ve never been stuck in an elevator, though I wonder how I’d react. Bet that would get us to talk to each other.

Earlier in the week I was carrying a couple of boxes of Girl Scout cookies back to my office and one student remarked on that, saying she would mug me for my cookies, especially the Thin Mints. I figured we could share them, should the elevator get hung up between floors. We could probably write a great existential play about characters in an elevator. I wonder if anyone’s done that yet?

So what do you do in elevators?