...so, what do you think I should do?
"...so, what do you think I should do?" After listening to someone describe their current career dilemma, this question used to bother me. I felt this great pressure to have an answer, but I learned that even what I consider to be the best possible solution will probably fall flat. The idea is to turn it back to them and have them come up with an answer. This involves a lot of listening and prompting, but eventually something good will come of it. The other day I had a thoroughly enjoyable appointment with a student who was anxious to finish up school and move to Michigan to join his girlfriend (hey Darlene--I said 'girlfriend!'). All I did was listen to him batting things around. That's all he really needed--a quiet place to talk out his options and hear how they sounded.
Sometimes people feel that it is somehow a sign of weakness to seek counseling, that they should be able to figure out things for themselves. Actually, it's sometimes a very good idea. Just find someone with whom you are comfortable and see how it goes.
posted by Career Guy @ 6:40 PM
6 comments
6 Comments:
Cathy, I heard a professor once say, in describing his class, that it was for seniors, juniors and brilliant sophomores. I was thinking of college freshpersons through grad students when I wrote the book. The first few chapters have to do with self assessment, but after that we start talking about resumes and such--things that are less important for high school students. Darn! I wonder what you are looking for.
The most insightful person I've ever known, a PhD psychologist and counselor, used to tell me (and the other members of the group) that the answer to all our questions are already inside us--we just have to frame the question correctly and the answer will come naturally to the fore.
I've always thought sometimes the most important thing we can do is listen to people- not argue or offer advice, just listen. Very astute of you.
Nettie,
I think the best reason to avoid giving advice to people is that usually they are not ready for it and won't listen anyway. At least, I know I'm that way.
Some of the greatest influences in my life were the teachers and counselors who just looked at me, listened attentively, smiled and encouraged me that the possibilities for my life were endless.
I teach a special ed. senior English class and I have been focusing on helping the students with possible career paths after high school. One of the things I try to do is to listen to what they "don't say" to help them find out the things that interest them. In other words, I watch their actions, reactions and attitudes.
Stacey,
Wow--I had no idea that was what you were doing. That's excellent--listening to what they don't say. I wonder what options you are discussing--I guess it depends on their abilities and interests regardless of their challenges or limitations. I wonder what the journals say about that population. Have you looked at any of them? Could be your PhD topic!
John.
Post a Comment
<< Home